Realty Specialist Gifts

"Good news, they accepted your offer!"

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

Water is discovered on the moon....

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

"Sold his air rights."

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

'This is close enough.'

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

"Central heat. Pretty posh."

See the house whose property taxes were raised

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

"Yes, we've refused your loan application."

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

Updated Classic: Bleak House Sales

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"I've just been gazumped!"

'Look, they're slowing down.'

'That must be the termite inspector.'

Real Estate Life

For sale sign 'Don't take that down, it's holding up the house.'

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."

'A cheap single room for a lodger, close to the city, quiet, easy to clean... here you are, sir!'

'The owner is motivated.'

Real estate salesman.

The Movers Strip - Use of mirrors in selling a property

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

How often do the planes fly overhead..?