Doll Defier Pillows

"Why are you smiling?"

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Head over Hooves

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

To do before Saturday...

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

Emergency exit into Space

Guru.

"I got an 'A' for my anti-gravity science project!"

"Well, guys... I guess we'll just have to ask Siri where we are." "No! Don't do that!" "Yeah! We know exactly what we're doing!" "Dude! Have you forgotten our credo?" "Society for the refusal to ask for directions."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

Zoom Wedding

These upside-down tomato planters simplify everything. But, dad. Mother nature wants plants to grow upwards. Sez who?

Einstein's brother developed the theory of 'relativism'.

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

'Eric! Look for his pressure point! He's got to have a pressure point somewhere!'

kid skateboards off airplane wingtip

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

'Now I don't know what it's like in New York, but this is Kansas city, and we follow the laws of physics out here.'

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

Doctors without borders, gravity, or air.

"That's many giant leaps for man."

If middle-age birthday cards were honest...

"You're under arrest for breaking the law of gravity! You have the right to..."

'If this is your true age, then you're the youngest case of senility I've ever seen.'

Weight Gain Denial

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

Tragedy and Remedy.

Fun with Ned-Ball.

Trampoline Balance

Hill Walking Boots: 'I'll take them.'

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

'I want something to make me look younger.'

'IF this is your true age, then you're the youngest case of senility I've ever encountered.'