Doggy Hotel Reviewers T-Shirts

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

Dog Dressed to Eat

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

'We only have rooms with real teeth left!'

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

"Do you want a bed or do you prefer to sleep on the furniture?"

'I like it.'

"This is a bend and breakfast. You sleep on a cafeteria table."

"I thought you said you paid extra for a cabinet with a Seaview."

'When you lie here you can see why it's called a Four Star Hotel. That's how many stars you can see through the hole in the roof!'

Hotel: Price List

A dog driving a car as a man sticks his head and tongue out the window

"I have to call you back, Mom. I'm right in the middle of updating the dog's website."

"You should have been more specific when you booked a room with a sea view."

Dog Food Testing Lab.

"Wow, do you think his singing would be bearable if we only had human hearing?"

No Humans Allowed

Bed and breakfast.

'Great car-chasing scenes!'

The Zero Vista Hotel

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines, are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

"So much for online B'n'Bs, this guy's getting negative feedback."

Bedbug Hotel Reviews

'And the shower stall has to be this wide.'

"Which website did you find this hotel on?"

"I love it when dogs work on their stupid."

"That's OK, they're not yelling at each other! They're yelling at the TV: a politician is giving a speech..."