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Bedbug Hotel Reviews

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Climate change

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

Newton's vacation

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

'A lab had me smoking cigarettes for months. I'm living off my disability payments. You?'

"Did you pack your own bags?"

English Summer: Man in a tanning bed on the beach in the middle of a storm.

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

At this exact location on May 23rd 1957, a bunch of people mounted this plaque to commemorate a surplus of funding for the Commemorative Plaque Society.

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

Limbo Day at the Palace

'If you're coming on this road trip the sign stays'

Parisian Misguided Tours.

"As the owner of a hotel chain, I found being shipwrecked quite a challenge."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

Nude Beach/Perv Bluff

Despite hard evidence to the contrary it was still considered lucky to kiss the Blarney Spike

A sign hangs from the front of the Sunnyvale Nudist Camp - 'Join Today - 100% Off!'

'We only have rooms with real teeth left!'

'I'd like to time my vacation to when my mate is in heat.'

"I should've known better than to AirBNB from a bird."

'You are now entering Crenton, the city with the most intriguing 'You are now leaving' sign.'

"I thought you said you paid extra for a cabinet with a Seaview."

'SHOP!!!'

After years of saving...Larry finally visits the mysterious 'Doorhenge'.

"Excuse me, Sir - could you photobomb our picture?"

"There are no direct flights, so we're booked on the Scenic Tour of East Coast airports."