Quirky Hotel Reviewer Gifts

Bedbug Hotel Reviews

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Climate change

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

Newton's vacation

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Did you pack your own bags?"

'A lab had me smoking cigarettes for months. I'm living off my disability payments. You?'

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

English Summer: Man in a tanning bed on the beach in the middle of a storm.

At this exact location on May 23rd 1957, a bunch of people mounted this plaque to commemorate a surplus of funding for the Commemorative Plaque Society.

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

Parisian Misguided Tours.

'If you're coming on this road trip the sign stays'

Limbo Day at the Palace

"As the owner of a hotel chain, I found being shipwrecked quite a challenge."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

Nude Beach/Perv Bluff

Despite hard evidence to the contrary it was still considered lucky to kiss the Blarney Spike

A sign hangs from the front of the Sunnyvale Nudist Camp - 'Join Today - 100% Off!'

"I should've known better than to AirBNB from a bird."

'I'd like to time my vacation to when my mate is in heat.'

'We only have rooms with real teeth left!'

'You are now entering Crenton, the city with the most intriguing 'You are now leaving' sign.'

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

"I thought you said you paid extra for a cabinet with a Seaview."

After years of saving...Larry finally visits the mysterious 'Doorhenge'.

"Excuse me, Sir - could you photobomb our picture?"

"There are no direct flights, so we're booked on the Scenic Tour of East Coast airports."