Doggy Dining Critic T-Shirts

'I think Lassie is trying to tell us something, Mom.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Dog Dressed to Eat

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

"Great coffee, Carole."

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"Would you like to see the markup?"

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

"If you represent special interests, I can seat you immediately."

Four Star Meal

'You are quite right, the soup is cold.'

-'God that looks disgusting.' -'You're telling me.'

'Is there a money back guarantee if the burrito isn't as big as your head?'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"I won't need a doggie bag."

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

'I was bringing your businessman's lunch, sir, but a Government bureaucrat confiscated it!'

"Now, who ordered the salad?"

"The spaghetti is too al dente!"

"That tasted like s**t. We'll have another order of it."

'What wine goes with rubbery steak and cold vegetables?'

"Find another place to dump that crap. This stall is occupied."

'Your waiter will be happy to point out our organic dishes if sir is feeling particularly gullible.'

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

'You're lucky you can't read.'

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

"Too rare, perhaps?"