Doggie Duty Diva Gifts

"You wanted a really big dog! So you better take this poopy bag and a snow shovel and walk the beast!"

Why Poodles Become Killers

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

Bernice Mountain Dog

What female dogs think about their looks.

Cleaner with nameplate next to Consultant Surgeon's desk.

Cats and Dogs.

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

'I'd like to overwhelm them with instructional excellence, but I'm not above winning through intimidation.'

Village Pet Shop.

"She's a model dog, alright. When she's not on a catwalk, she demands a lot of attention, requires constant grooming, and is a picky eater."

"Too goth?"

Poovis: Half poodle/ Half Elvis.

'But I must have bone! I need incentivising.'

Triceratops - "A Turtleneck? You couldn't get me a shirt with buttons?

"I'm a rockhound."

"If you ask me, good parenting requires clear boundaries, loving discipline and random acts of off-the-wall crazy."

'It says the best way to stop undesirable behavior is to ignore it.'

Doesn't he seem really stiff?

"Have you been giving the dog a make over again?"

A dog gives a woman a birthday card while she plays a harpsichord.

'We should have never named her, Queen.'

'Okay Floyd. You know what to do. And make it ridiculous.'

number 1 and number 2 mom

Mom Air. *Bing* Your captain has hit her limit with those infernal portable electronic thingys, and wants you all to site quietly and read until she tells you it's ok to stop.

Turtle timeouts. And when you think you can behave, I'll be back to flip you over. (Published originally on May 21, 2003.)

Woman walking through a bakery with blinkers on.

"Looks like Rex is ready for his walk."

Maude loved doggy fashion.

A woman holds a sling which has her dog in it.

'Still no boyfriend, Enda couldn't shake off her man eating image'

Model T-Rexs

Celebrity Poodle.