Dog-owning Parent Gifts

'It's a nine-to-five job, but most of it we spend napping.'

"So far, I've taught him to fetch."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

'I'm not sure which one is the role model.'

Dog walking Human.

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

'For pete's sake Walter!! Enough with the tail, I can't read your writing!!'

Why would a dog wear a hat?

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'Rigt, now he's going through the spin cycle.'

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

Separation

"I can have wine on this new diet if i exercise. . ."

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Dogs

'What's founder?'

"I travel Prada whenever I can."

"You go ahead and sleep, girl. I’m sure Philip Roth won’t be offended."

'The months of arduous training were worth it, she makes a decent martini.'

Even when it came to walking the dog Norman would take a relaxed approach.

Being able to digest news quickly is a sure sign of intelligence.

"Fuhgettaboutit, Charley. Ya been fixed."