Dog-owning Parent Pillows

'It's a nine-to-five job, but most of it we spend napping.'

"So far, I've taught him to fetch."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

'I'm not sure which one is the role model.'

Dog walking Human.

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

'For pete's sake Walter!! Enough with the tail, I can't read your writing!!'

Why would a dog wear a hat?

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'Rigt, now he's going through the spin cycle.'

A Dog's Food Pyramid.

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

Separation

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Dogs

'What's founder?'

"I can have wine on this new diet if i exercise. . ."

"I travel Prada whenever I can."

"You go ahead and sleep, girl. I’m sure Philip Roth won’t be offended."

'The months of arduous training were worth it, she makes a decent martini.'

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."