Dog-owning Cousin Gifts

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

A large leaf falling on a dog

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

'Out, damned Spot.'

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

"Better luck next time, kid."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"I can't see a blinkin' thing."

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

'More hair than brains.'

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

Dog traps the postman.

'No, Adam, 'awesome' is not an acceptable choice of what you want to be when you grow up.'

State of the Art Dog.

'How was I to know that my invisible friend was so rambunctious?'

Jumping Dogs

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

Man wearing a dog cone

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

'Peel, Spot! Peel!'

"We keep revisiting this leash thing... Why is it so difficult for him?"

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."