Pet-loving Cousin Gifts

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"Your cats are fine."

'It's alright-he won't bite!'

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

Biofelineism

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Christmas Pets

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

"Your love gives me strength."

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

Chasebook

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

"Humans are strange."

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

Separation

Dog traps the postman.

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

Examination.

But it's the other leg that hurts.

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

Dog Day Afternoon

"Cat park"

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

Meow Power Demolition team.