Pet-loving Cousin Pillows

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"Your cats are fine."

'It's alright-he won't bite!'

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

Biofelineism

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

Christmas Pets

"Your love gives me strength."

"Humans are strange."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

Chasebook

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

Separation

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

Dog Day Afternoon

"Cat park"

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

Examination.

But it's the other leg that hurts.

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Dog traps the postman.

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

State of the Art Dog.