Animal-loving Cousin Pillows

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."

"And you wonder why they call me a bitch?"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

Haute Suture

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

Dog wearing a cone

Christmas Pets

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

"Your love gives me strength."

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

Separation

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

Zoo. It's wednesday again --- time to wash the camels. I hate "hump" day. (Published originally on July 20, 2005).

Endangered Species - Hardly/Slightly/Extremely.

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

Dog traps the postman.

Cat king.

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

"It's nice to be wanted."

Meow Power Demolition team.

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

Salvador Dali's cats.

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

"He's like having our own personal trainer. . ."

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

'Good dog!'