Animal Enthusiast Cousin Pillows

'First we had her fixed, then we had her gussied up.'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

Haute Suture

Dog wearing a cone

Christmas Pets

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

Snooze buttons for cat owners

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

Separation

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Cat king.

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

Endangered Species - Hardly/Slightly/Extremely.

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Sorry - my dog is at the vet. This one is a loaner."

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

The Taming of the Ewe

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

'He took a fetching class.'

The definitive turning point in The Great Terrier-Squirrel War was the now-famous Trojan Acorn Maneuver.

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

Cat does not want to chase the stick.

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."

Why cat yoga classes don't work

'My hamster fell asleep at the wheel!'

"If you're looking to adopt a dog that's good with cats, may I suggest Ruffus."