Animal-loving Sister Pillows

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

Haute Suture

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

Dog wearing a cone

Christmas Pets

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

Snooze buttons for cat owners

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

Chasebook

Separation

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

Endangered Species - Hardly/Slightly/Extremely.

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

"C'mon. Get out there and go tinkle already."

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

'So... Who's chasing who?'

Cat king.

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'