Animal-loving Sister Pillows

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

Haute Suture

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

Dog wearing a cone

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

Christmas Pets

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

Chasebook

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

Separation

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Cat king.

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

'So... Who's chasing who?'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

"C'mon. Get out there and go tinkle already."

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

Endangered Species - Hardly/Slightly/Extremely.

"It's nice to be wanted."

Meow Power Demolition team.

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'