Pet-loving Sister Pillows

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

Plaids set man apart from the lower animals

"He's like having our own personal trainer. . ."

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

Biofelineism

Skeleton playing fetch.

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"This never happened."

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

Dog wearing a cone

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

Chasebook

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

Separation

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Cat king.

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

"C'mon. Get out there and go tinkle already."

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

Endangered Species - Hardly/Slightly/Extremely.

"It's nice to be wanted."

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"