Dog House Connoisseur Gifts

"Oh, it's nice, but it's not palazzo living."

A crowd of happy pet owners.

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

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"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

Dog Park Zoom

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"What's all this?"

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

A skinny dog drawn with zen brush.

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

Being able to digest news quickly is a sure sign of intelligence.

"Watch his feet - if he doesn't step into the throw, he's going to fake it."

K9 Literati.

Dog Sees Only Food

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'Harvey, I'm afraid the dog has the mailman intimidated.'

"Now that's art!"

Dogs and Cake

"It was a really classy restaurant. The waiters drop the food on the floor for you."

"You've got to lay off the homework."

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

Dog Show: Worst of Breed

"What's worse, that or this?"

"And everything from my dig is brought here where it's identified, classified, interpreted, and the eaten."

"You're amazing!"