Dog Duty Doyens Pillows

"I don't really need to go out, but as his best friend and life coach, he needs the exercise."

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

They soon changed their name..

"I'll walk, you shovel."

"People whinge about the irrelevance and duplication of paperwork, but if the forms aren't filled out how are we supposed to know how many forms have been completed?"

Still Here

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

'Parents have been complaining that I'm too strict? You want me to be a little less intimidating? Do you want me to send students to your office 47 times a day? I'm a 67-year-old woman dealing with 16-year-old thugs....

dog-come ingo out boxes

'Making a To-Do List is on my Bucket List.'

"I'm an assistance dog."

'Forget 'forsaking all others', you can have the week off' (housewife to husband).

"I've decided to give up my day to day responsibilities."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

It's a dreadful affair, Watson. Flagrant failure to use the poopy bins.

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

Family size, economy size, giant size

Company boss sits at desk near wall sign: Not Here To Make Friends.

"He's our most entrenched bureaucrat. Why'd you go and tell him we have unwritten rules?"

'A robot sits at desk with work boxes: Input/ Output.'

'You haven't asked me out in weeks. Would I like to go out to a movie? No thanks I'm busy!'

"Man, why do they call it 'doggie-doo' when what they really mean is "doggie-don't"?

"Tell your father that garbage was on Tuesday."

'You advertised for a dog-walker?'

'This one is for not complaining about being stretched too think handling domestic and foreign crises.'

Congress Hits 'Not Quite a Wimp'.

"You wanted a really big dog! So you better take this poopy bag and a snow shovel and walk the beast!"

"No excuses Roger. It's time to walk fifi."

"This is defifitely not going on my facebook likes."

'When you bring the Sunday newspapers Angus, try not to drop the inserts!'

'My dishwasher broke down - he's in hospital with fatigue'.