Doggy Duty Dwellers Pillows

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

'Grrrr....'

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

"I'll walk, you shovel."

'No seriously. His final words actually were, 'If I only had spent more time at the office.''

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"

'Occupational hazard.'

"Actually, the 24/7 Roadside Assistance kinda makes up for the 24/7 vehicle depreciation."

Bad Dog!

'That's the plan then, gang. We all move in with Bruno on bath nights!'

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

Money Makes You Smile.

'Don't chase it - You don't know where it's been.'

"I don't really need to go out, but as his best friend and life coach, he needs the exercise."

"This regift exchange isn't going to work if we all regift sweaters."

"Man, why do they call it 'doggie-doo' when what they really mean is "doggie-don't"?

"I put it on AirBnB it for the weekend."

'It's Mother's Day! Leave all this for tomorrow...'

'You advertised for a dog-walker?'

"You wanted a really big dog! So you better take this poopy bag and a snow shovel and walk the beast!"

"No excuses Roger. It's time to walk fifi."

"Guys, I know my PlayStation is in there!"

"The service here is terrible."

'When you bring the Sunday newspapers Angus, try not to drop the inserts!'

'I think I know how the robbers got in. Someone forgot to lock the doggy door.'