Dating Doyen Pillows

'You haven't asked me out in weeks. Would I like to go out to a movie? No thanks I'm busy!'

'You have her home by midnight, now!'

Waterfall of Disappointment

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

"To meet the girl of your dreams, swipe right on the lamp."

"Hey! Green eyes!"

'Parents have been complaining that I'm too strict? You want me to be a little less intimidating? Do you want me to send students to your office 47 times a day? I'm a 67-year-old woman dealing with 16-year-old thugs....

'I think I met Frank at the circus.'

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

Valentine's roses $59.99- Feb.15th- $12.99.

'Were you playing footsie with me?'

"Talk about heaven - eight francs to the buck and old Binky still a chiselled blonde."

A learner driver in a heart-shaped car

What star sign are you, let me guess...libra?

'Mismatched Mantras'

Ok, it is a 'Man's World,' but I can't always excuse myself to go powder my nose!

Missing You.

"I don't really need to go out, but as his best friend and life coach, he needs the exercise."

"Thanks for a nice time. I'd ask you in, but the man of the house will just put you out again for the night."

'I like being tied up.'

"I'd like to take things slow, Al, so instead of a goodnight kiss I'm going to poke you a few times with this stick."

"But after Monica, I began to wonder... Maybe I've been looking for rejection in all the wrong places!"

Mr Dombey at home

"I'm really into guys with brains."

'I think Frank and I will get on really well - apparently he loves shoes too!'

'Hi, do I sit here? Er...Oh.' (woman holding up sign saying 'Go away, you're ugly.').

'Pop, I have a date tonight, can I borrow your club?'

You've reached Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you? I met this really awesome lady. I think about her daily. And I know she's thinking about me. But she told me she's also thinking about some other guy. What's the best way to not mind her thinking about him, while still enjoying the thought that she's thinking about me? You'll be fine if you think to yourself the other guy is nothing but a fleeting thought she's thinking of. You think?

"Thanks Baldo. It was a magical evening."

'The dating website just asked for a recent photo. It didn't say it had to be one of me.'

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'How about a nice fixer-upper?'

'What star sign are you?...No let me guess...'

'I understand you like one night stands. Feel free to stand out there in the hall all night.'

"Gee whizz, Mr. Curtis, a million dollars isn't old!"

"So, you like kids?"