Dog Dining Humor Gifts

'Rubber pork chops. Excellent choice, Sir. With or without squeakers?'

Dog wearing a cone

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

'That's the problem with Dacshunds, you can never tell whether they're coming or going.'

'Oh goody, chunky soup!'

Dog sees venus fly trap catch a fly and copies it...

'I was hoping chef's surprise would be fish'

"I won't need a doggie bag."

'What's the special?'

Dog urinating on a work of art.

'I didn't come when called? Have you tried Twittering me?'

'I'm sorry Jane, but this time your anthropomorphism has gone too far.'

At The Skinny Customer Restaurant

"This makes a nice change from 'Fetch'!"

"Expect a generous gratuity on table 9...I hacked his tip calculator."

"Anything, really. There's almost nothing I won't eat."

'I've got a dog and I'm worried that it might catch avian flu from a turkey and develop a new strain of caninebird flu that I might catch!...Have you got something I can take to stop that happening?'

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

Frankfurters on a Bus

Pecking order - pecking out of order.

'No termites, no grubs, no leaves... What kind of crazy restaurant is this?'

'There's a fly in my soup.'

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

Cooking shows for dogs

"You're a very interesting waiter, but don't you have any other tables to take care of?"

...wait a minute. It's not really National Hot Dog Day?!