Dog Dining Humor Gifts

'Rubber pork chops. Excellent choice, Sir. With or without squeakers?'

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

Dog wearing a cone

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

'That's the problem with Dacshunds, you can never tell whether they're coming or going.'

"I won't need a doggie bag."

'Oh goody, chunky soup!'

Dog sees venus fly trap catch a fly and copies it...

'I was hoping chef's surprise would be fish'

'What's the special?'

Dog urinating on a work of art.

Frankfurters on a Bus

"This makes a nice change from 'Fetch'!"

'I've got a dog and I'm worried that it might catch avian flu from a turkey and develop a new strain of caninebird flu that I might catch!...Have you got something I can take to stop that happening?'

"Expect a generous gratuity on table 9...I hacked his tip calculator."

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

At The Skinny Customer Restaurant

"Anything, really. There's almost nothing I won't eat."

Pecking order - pecking out of order.

'No termites, no grubs, no leaves... What kind of crazy restaurant is this?'

"Excuse me, my bowl and glass seem to be stuck to the table."

"You're a very interesting waiter, but don't you have any other tables to take care of?"

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

"It's called 'salad,' but it's really just a hunk of raw meat."

'There's a fly in my soup.'

Cooking shows for dogs