Dog Dad Jokester Gifts

"So that there are no more distractions, whoever has the phone with the squeaky toy ring tone..."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

"When the world gives you mean and macho, reach for licks and love."

'They sure have small litters.'

Jogging...

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

Doggie door in The Pearly Gates.

'Tired of fetching?'

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

Dog enjoying a sniffathon.

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

Bernice Mountain Dog

"He wants a second opinion."

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

"The emotional support goes both ways."

"I'm basically a simple dog. Just give me a place to lay my head and lift my leg."

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

The pet elevator: Because sometimes the pet steps are just too much work.

"Let's see... water pick, tin foil, snorkel..."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

"For whom the Bella yips... it yips for thee..."

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

D-Day (Dad Day)

'Those tid-bits you left for Ming Toy were delicious, Mrs. Caldwell!'

'This mandarin chicken is delicious, Dad. It tastes like you bought it yourself.'

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

"Show some appreciation when he comes home: he spends his days in a small cubicle staring at numbers on the screen. He puts up with a lot in order to feed us."

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

The emotional rollercoaster of a Lab

"English: Walk?" "Dog hears: Edibles on the sidewalk!"

Work out buddies.

"Who's my good widdoo headless dog?"

"Fetch, Millennia. ... Or don’t fetch. Either way, you’re perfect!"