Dog Dad Humor Gifts

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

"Shake! Good Dog."

Dog wearing a cone

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'They sure have small litters.'

"When the world gives you mean and macho, reach for licks and love."

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

Jogging...

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

Doggie door in The Pearly Gates.

Balloon dog training

Cat at Surprise Party.

'Tired of fetching?'

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"He wants a second opinion."

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

Dog enjoying a sniffathon.

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

Bernice Mountain Dog

Cuthbert was a pit of a party animal

"The emotional support goes both ways."

"I'm basically a simple dog. Just give me a place to lay my head and lift my leg."

The pet elevator: Because sometimes the pet steps are just too much work.

"For whom the Bella yips... it yips for thee..."

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

"Let's see... water pick, tin foil, snorkel..."

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'