Document Enthusiast Gifts

"Here is the one pager we all agreed on..."

"Sign here, here and here and then initial next to each signature, then sign again to verify those are your initials, then..."

"The arms reduction talks are off to a good start -so far, we've agreed to ban pebbles."

'No, sir, we haven't found any Tolstoy in it yet.'

"There's a UN Task force at the door. Know anything about it?

happy man and woman read a document together

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Archival Warfare

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

"Oh, come on! Nobody brought a pen?"

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

They're watching a documentary about safety razors. Sounds like a Schick flick!

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

Monosyllabic Crisis Center

'Your proposal sounds interesting. Can you send me a written proposal? I cannot reread a phone call.'

'LOVELY school. But where's the library?' 'What's a library?'

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

"Ugh! Stop making a drama documentary out of a molehill."

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

Fahrenheit 911.

'Oh-oh - it's the old good librarian, bad librarian routine.'

A typical Monday. Zombie Truck-Driving Maniacs! South Pole Penguin Love! That's a stupid eco-friendly chick documentary! Insipid, mindless, violent zombie crud! Negotiations commence, nearly a week before date night. Wimp! Blockbuster head!

"Nothing like the History Channel to get you to appreciate these peaceful times we're enjoying."

Doo inc..can and no can.

'I'm freezing...The rich list is a little thin this year.'

'Why would all these people line up for a library sale?'

Inbox and outbox for books

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'