Dna Nerd Gifts

'So...1% of our DNA says you're in a suit, while I'm sitting around with no clothes on piking stuff with sticks.'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Ascent of Machine.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

The Age of Reptiles. . .

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

Gloat

"I've been genetically modified!"

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

School. I like solving problems with X's and Y's, so I'll probably go into either math or genetics!

Vaccine

"I'm afraid you need knee surgery."

'If only Darwin could have seen this.'

Pregnant Panda at Edinburgh Zoo: 'Congratulations, Wilkinshaw...'

The real reason why flamingos are pink

Naked Mole Rat

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

"Yo, this should be a two."

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

Cliff Notes

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."