Evolution Nerd Gifts

"OK, I'll learn to walk, but just so I can boycott Ivanka's shoes."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Ascent of Machine.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

"I know. Let's wait here until we evolve to an upright position. Then we could reach it."

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

Evolution Exam Results.

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"What the heck? The humans are washing in our waterhole with soap!"

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"I think we may be related!"

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

I told you we were late!

"Where are you going? I said we need to talk."

'That's Oog -- he got a haircut and a job.'

Dog forced to return bone

"Are we there yet?"

Fish evolving: 'Write, if you establish a niche.'

Brains - Java Man, Neanderthal Man, Modern Man.

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."