Diy Tax Guru Pillows

"How is it possible that I dropped out and you have a degree in accounting, but I'm doing your taxes."

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

IRS Audit Section

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

"Amazing deduction, Holmes!"

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"Taxation, meet Representation."

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

IRS tax instructions.

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

Look at it this way, you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway!

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

"You wouldn't dare say that to me if my accountant were here."

Monster under the bed.

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

'...We're just the Intergalactic Rescue Society.'

'Doing your taxes wasn't what I had in mind when I asked for an extra-credit assignment in econ.'

People being buried under enormous falling tax credit forms.

"It's hard to deal with because it keeps mutating... not the virus... tax law!"

The Accountant Husband

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'