Taxation Guru Pillows

Alcohol Taxes - Can't afford to be a wino, please help.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

New Improved I.R.S.

Budget reaction.

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."

'We learned today that the world is a huge ball, which revolves on it's taxes.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'We're all wearing them - they were a gift from Warren Buffett.'

'I sent my mother to jail. I work for the IRS.'

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

'If the meek inherit the earth, imagine the capital gains tax.'

'Maybe we can't fool all the people all the time, but we sure can tax all the people all the time.'

"Tell the press direct EU-taxation is necessary..."

'Of course, we could drop the enquiry and agree to henceforth leave each other alone.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

Monster under the bed.

'Stick a few upper-class tax cuts to it and it'll pass like a bran muffin dipped in vaseline.'