Diy Tax Preparer Pillows

'Instead of paying an income tax expert to do my return, I paid myself. What's wrong with that?'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

I'm afraid neatness doesn't count, Mrs Wilson

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

The IRS emptied my pouch.

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

IRS Audit Section

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

The Forever Stamp

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'Right now I'm counting the blessings that we owe to Uncle Sam.'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

"Amazing deduction, Holmes!"

Man posting letter to the IRS.

Tax Collector

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

"Taxation, meet Representation."

IRS. April 15th is the deadlie for filing your return, not a "best if used by" date.

IRS tax instructions.

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'