Tax Preparation Pillows

'I got 2 years for filing false returns, but I did save a bundle by doing my own taxes.'

'Mr. McWit, being self employed in a one person operation, would you care to explain these deductions for employee theft?'

Tax Department - Whammy/double whammy

Procrastination is not tax deductible.

"So, you're claiming 32 million gifts as a legitimate business expense."

'I see here you're a professional writer. That explains the touch of whimsy in your return.'

IRS agent saying 'And now, let's review your self-employment schedule C form...'

IRS tax forms.

"How come they call these tax returns when I never get any money returned?"

'I don't know about the other judges, but I love what Paris Hilton and her accountant did with their Schedule C!'

Let me do the crying, okay?

'I'm your fantasy from the U.S. Treasury Department.'

'Nightmare on Form Street.'

"Oh dear, Mr. Kringle. I fear we may have to put you on our naughty list."

'Now whose salary is small potatoes, and who works for peanuts?'

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

"Do I have to add up all the numbers, or is it like when you do your taxes?"

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

The government can't get by on what you're making.

'Yes, Mr Brown, I am aware that 'Tax' is Latin for 'estimate'. But you can't just guess at the numbers!'

H&R Steak and Tax Prep.

"The accountant is here to see you Mr Smith."

'Receipts? We don't need no stinking receipts.'

'Writer's block' is not an adequate excuse for delaying sending in you return.

"It's an IRS 1040 form."

"What do you want, accuracy or plausible deniability?"

IRS zero tolerance policy.

File, Henry, before the mob arrives.

"Look at this! Fetching, rolling over, catching a ball! Why can't you do anything?"

Frank tried to stay calm after hearing auditors can smell fear.

You have all your cancelled checks and receipts. What are you trying to hide?

'I feel sure I'm paying too little tax, who do I see about it?'

'My fee is one hundred and fifty an hour. . . more if you require total accuracy.'

"It's great that you lost weight, but you don't pay less taxes because there's less of you."