Tax Planning Pillows

'But on the bright side, I was able to find a loophole that should solve your little tax problem.'

'I don't want to brag, but I have a loophole named after me.'

'Sorry, but under-the-table donations aren't tax deductible.'

'Take my advice, stop thinking of it as your money.'

'We've got all the figures, we just haven't decided what order to put them in!'

'I've invested my heart and soul in this company. I need a receipt for tax purposes.'

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'I realize that this may be carping, but I never did live long enough to enjoy my I.R.A. account.'

'I may feel like a million bucks, but after taxes I look like two dollars and fifteen cents.'

"I will grant you three wishes. You should know, however, that after taxes it will be reduced to one and a half wishes."

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

'They have a defibrillator in there.'

Just married for tax purposes

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

"He's looking for small change - it's the most intensive audit I've ever known."

"Will I be penalized for not having health insurance if I'm young and I'm actually invincible?"

'Sorry son, I spent all your inheritence fighting inheritence tax.'

"I bought this net from the Inland Revenue. It allows big fish to swim through, yet catches the small ones."

"And if the Revenue raid us you make your way here."

"Those 'reverse mortgage' commercials got me to thinking - Is there such a thing as reverse taxes?"

"It's not enough to write 'Megabucks' on your return, Mr. Clacton. You're supposed to tell us how many."

'All these charitable contributions- You think you can take care of poor people better than the Government can, do you?'

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

'How much tax can I avoid by becoming a Philanthropist?'

'About your three dependants, 'Shep,' 'Fluffy,' and 'Chirpy'....'

Are you sure Milton Keynes is not a tax haven?

Tax Preparer Pleases A Circus Ringmaster

'One loophole per taxpayer only'

"My tax refunds are great! I write off the mileage, report all of the presents as charitable donations and use undocumented elves for labor."

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

'Giving back to the community is an excellent tax write-off strategy.'

Are you rich enough for tax loopholes?

'I've been paying taxes for 63 years, and I still don't have the hang of it.'

If you can hold off a week, you can deduct the child on your year one taxes. The Three Wise Accountants.