Diy Philosopher Gifts

"Daddy will give back your paintball gun as soon as he’s made his definitive statement on the nature of existence."

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

Pastorius wonders why.

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

Hamlet in the craft shop.

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know what your office staff are doing?'

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

'What does the internet have against my people?'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'I ink, therefore I am....'