Diy Joker Pillows

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"He was just hanging about in the shed, so I had him repurposed."

Get crazy once in a while

Fittd shēt

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Prisoner still life painting.

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'How about a nice saloon?'

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

"See how it feels"

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'I'm surprised the boss isn't in here checking up on us!'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Adult Absence Notes.

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

Toilet humour

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

'Yes, chocolate moose.'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

"They seem to be most concerned with what shape it is."

No infrastructure problem here

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

'Hope you don't mind the boxing gloves. I'm no good at hands.'