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'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

Fittd shēt

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Prisoner still life painting.

'How about a nice saloon?'

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"See how it feels"

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'I'm surprised the boss isn't in here checking up on us!'

Adult Absence Notes.

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Toilet humour

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'Yes, chocolate moose.'

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

No infrastructure problem here

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

"They seem to be most concerned with what shape it is."

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

'A room with double beds, please.'

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'