Divine Romantic Gifts

'I'd buy her a drink, but I don't think I can do that up here.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'I think I have found Mr. Right.'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

"That's my boy!"

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

The Reason for Storms

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

'I guess it was a mistake to make them self-starting.'

I Drew a Hot Guy

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

"Those who fail to capitalize pronouns referring to me are doomed to face my wrath! Otherwise I'm pretty laissez-faire."

'For many months, you've been preparing to enter the sea of matrimony, and today, you walk the plank.'

The Flirtateous Period

God and His copilot

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"You again, Paul?! Hey, you must know this ceremony inside out!"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways ??" except on Sundays, when I take over."

'I solemnly - whooooaaah - delcare...'

A rake jumps from a window onto a horse

Chez Bistro. Let's go dutch tonight, Francine. What is this? An "unfunded man date"?

"Ooh, Igor — a dead rat! You shouldn’t have!"

"It's inhabited and they appear to be friendly."

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

'Okay, so you've proved a point - you really do love me!'

'Better call the coroner, Mahoney... I can't tell if this is a homicide or some sicko's idea of romance.'

Young Jesus learning to walk on water with waterwings around his ankles.

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

'It's too LATE to show remorse!'

CCTV security on heaven's doors.

'Well, she ate the apple -- I SAID you should have the whole thing catered.'

"I don't care who your Dad is, you're spooking the fish"