Divine Romantic Gifts

'I'd buy her a drink, but I don't think I can do that up here.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

The Reason for Storms

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"That's my boy!"

"Those who fail to capitalize pronouns referring to me are doomed to face my wrath! Otherwise I'm pretty laissez-faire."

'I guess it was a mistake to make them self-starting.'

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

I Drew a Hot Guy

'For many months, you've been preparing to enter the sea of matrimony, and today, you walk the plank.'

The Flirtateous Period

God and His copilot

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"You again, Paul?! Hey, you must know this ceremony inside out!"

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways ??" except on Sundays, when I take over."

'I solemnly - whooooaaah - delcare...'

"Ooh, Igor — a dead rat! You shouldn’t have!"

"It's inhabited and they appear to be friendly."

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

'Okay, so you've proved a point - you really do love me!'

A rake jumps from a window onto a horse

'Better call the coroner, Mahoney... I can't tell if this is a homicide or some sicko's idea of romance.'

Young Jesus learning to walk on water with waterwings around his ankles.

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

CCTV security on heaven's doors.

"I don't care who your Dad is, you're spooking the fish"

'You said to hurry, so we used amino acids instead of dust.'

'Well, she ate the apple -- I SAID you should have the whole thing catered.'

"A representative from headquarters to see you, sir."