Divine Plan Devotee Gifts

"Look, I appreciate your persistence, doc, but it's settled."

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

Poetry Buff.

'Our ultrasound equipment is not working, so we've brought in famed psychic Jennifer Armstrong to give us a vision of the fetus.'

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

On the seventh day the ideation got a little heated.

Dante Alighieri

Heavenly meetings.

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

'I've got the inside track ... But the Devil uses the big freeway.'

"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

"I stand corrected..."

Give Thanks.

'Now that's devotion. Two broken arms and still working.'

'It was a split decision.'

Paradise: Collection of wine

"If you want me to ask him that you'll have to wait until after the watershed."

'...Now we'd be expecting turning water into a decent '67 vintage at the VERY LEAST!'

The gods drink beer while Zeus throws a thunderbolt.

A.E. Housman

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

'Fortune cookies aren't fun for me. I always know my fortune in advance.'

"It has a nice, divine quality without being overly liturgical."

"I find it difficult to like him. He's too good at being humble."

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"

'Don't look now, but Cain and Abel messed up your 'Natural Selection' program.'

That's a salad pitchfork, Bob.

'This message contains confidential and/or legally privileged information, unintended recipients may not use, copy or disclose any portion of this transmission.'

Monk at prayer, "and take care, if anything happens to you we're sunk!"

"Of all the vehicles in heaven and you had to rear-end his car?"

'Prayer services held in pub' "Same again please..."