Divine Inquirer Gifts

You've Got Questions, We've Got Answers.

"OK, just between you and me: The free will thing? What was your angle in all that?"

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Okay - who leaked?'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'Let's see what they're screwing up today.'

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

Jesus wept

"Just my luck."

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

To err is human, but to have your stocks recover from a plummet is divine.

You are everywhere.

'Is this a 'cash for clunkers' deal?'

"Yeah, it's a sweet boat Noah, but you're still gonna have to start over."

"And God called the light day."

"I've been asked to dance on the head of a pin" "Yeah, you and an infinite number of others."

'If we have everlasting life, what about entropy?'

The real reason for the hole in the ozone layer.

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

'Oh, I believe in God -- I just think that he's overrated.'