Divine Inquirer Prints

You've Got Questions, We've Got Answers.

"OK, just between you and me: The free will thing? What was your angle in all that?"

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Okay - who leaked?'

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'Let's see what they're screwing up today.'

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"Just my luck."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

Jesus wept

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

You are everywhere.

To err is human, but to have your stocks recover from a plummet is divine.

Remote-controlled Popemobile.

"And God called the light day."

"Yeah, it's a sweet boat Noah, but you're still gonna have to start over."

'Is this a 'cash for clunkers' deal?'

"I've been asked to dance on the head of a pin" "Yeah, you and an infinite number of others."

'If we have everlasting life, what about entropy?'

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."