Divine Intervention Detective Gifts

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'Okay - who leaked?'

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

'Wow! -- Talk about family values!'

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"Just my luck."

'Is this a 'cash for clunkers' deal?'

"It says God created heaven and earth, then there was light. Why didn't He do it the other way round, when He could see what He was doing?"

"Yeah, it's a sweet boat Noah, but you're still gonna have to start over."

"That's not what I said."

The real reason for the hole in the ozone layer.

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

'Hey, good news, we had a look at the X-rays. Turns out, God is on your side.'

"For the last time- I can't Rapture you out to the Hamptons."

"OK, just between you and me: The free will thing? What was your angle in all that?"

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

"All of my manifestations are currently busy however your prayer is important to me so please..."

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness

"Oh, that's the problem - it was unplugged the whole time!"

'This message contains confidential and/or legally privileged information, unintended recipients may not use, copy or disclose any portion of this transmission.'

You've Got Questions, We've Got Answers.

'...But in case God misses something...'

'Let's go home, coach. If God was going to intervene with a miracle and change the final score to save your job, it would have happened by now.'

A Chariot of Fire Takes Elijah Up To Heaven (The Holy Bible).

'Now they're praying for the Sun to stand still - You really should have told them more about physics.'

"Well, you asked for a sign!"

'New Charismatic'

God throwing a lifebelt.

Clergyman prays for divine intervention.

Invoice.

God's secretary.