Divine Downloaders Gifts

'Does it come on Disc?'

'I downloaded them from heaven.'

'We've re-branded.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

The Ordered List

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

How's my Sermon . . .

'What's the use? Everyone has his own PC future-probability program these days.'

'let's work with what we've got -- take a few of the more promising apes, and add some extra memory.'

"Where should we target our advertising dollars? "Hold on, I'm checking my website."

The Bible, signed copy.

Put it in writing!

"Who'd have thought it? It turns out you can take it with you when you die."

"Wow, thanks. I'm a big fan. I've downloaded all your stuff."

'Does it come with any Apps'

"It has a nice, divine quality without being overly liturgical."

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'Why do people always assume I download my music illegally?'

These tablets are heavy. Didn't you create the internet on the fifth night? Couldn't you just post these commandments on your blog?

Monk

"Sorry—that's the screen saver."

And on the 7th Day, he put in his bid.

Heavenly Tennis.

I shopped in the Garden of Eden.

'Uh oh....perhaps not Heaven.'

God's Proofreader

Gangster doesn't have proper password for Heaven.

Fortune teller using a computer.

God's Profile.

I bought you an iTunes gift card. Why would you do that? It's a peace offering. Ok, where is it? It's digital. I set up an email account for you, and sent it there. Now you can download content. You made me a virtual address, and sent an intangible gift to it, that'll let me download things I can never even touch? What kind of lazy @#$% gift is that? What happened to giving people something you picked out for them, that they can touch and caress, and re-gift as they mock your bad taste behind yo

He did say he wanted his cds burnt, remember? Yes, but I think he was after some software!

"You've got prayers…" heavenly e-mail.

"Sorry, but you've been 'Unfriended'."