Divine Decree Debater Gifts

'These are a little harsh. Why don't you take time off for some r and r and rewrite them when you're in a better mood?'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

John Newman

"I don't see why divine intervention and government intervention have to be mutually exclusive."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

"So Jesus, what denomination are you?"

'And He sayeth unto me, 'Behold this second set of my commandments, rendered in stone, large-print edition...''

"I stand corrected..."

"From the looks of things, I shouldn't have rested on the seventh day."

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

'If we have everlasting life, what about entropy?'