Divine Decree Debaters Gifts

'Well, okay, but these won't be easy to market.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

'And He sayeth unto me, 'Behold this second set of my commandments, rendered in stone, large-print edition...''

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

"I stand corrected..."

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

'If we have everlasting life, what about entropy?'

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."