Dividend Dreamer T-Shirts

'. . .and may the dividends tomorrow be good . . .'

'Ms. Booth, your portfolio is full of sound and fury signifying zero returns.'

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

"Going green now means environmentally correct, but in the old days it meant buying stocks with big dividends."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

All I want for Christmas is a modest recovery in the GDP, along with expectations that the year-over-year growth rate will significantly improve in 2014.'

"Intrapreneuring chief- how about a glass on the house?"

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

'You may have three mergers.'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

Ted knew he had a bestseller. Now all he had to do was fill the middle bits in.

Breaking Through

The church of our lady of wall street.

'I'd like to invest in some young companies.'

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

'I'm your fantasy from the U.S. Treasury Department.'

"It's that Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

Happy Thought.

'Do we have any stocks rated 'cute'?'

'Well, you always said that if you became CEO you'd like to live in a gated community.'

'Why don't you just screen for stocks that will go up?'

"No, it's great. I'm just saying 'The Gospel of St. Luke' is an ambitious title for a first-time self-publisher."

Car Dealer

"I need some help to write my self-help book..."

Low-Rent Stockholders

I love Music.

'I'm glad the American Dream is still alive and well somewhere.'

'Dollar'

"Chasing my tail was ok when I was young, but now I'd like to chase investment yield."

'It's 50c per glass, or 50c per share to invest in my company.'

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

'Hey! This isn't a sold-out crowd! It's just a bunch of cartoon humps symbolizing a sold-out crowd!'

'I have high hopes of Wisden knocking the Da Vinci code off the top of the best sellers list.'