Dive Bar Frequenter Gifts

"Domestic or foreign object beer?"

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

His & hers towels.

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

Ostrich Bar

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

"I'm thinking of turning green..."

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

Our changing neighborhood: new store openings.

Chairs - a bar where everybody has a seat!

"Do they look tired to you?"

"I'm taking a creative writing class. I turned in my checkbook and got an A."

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

"Jim opened a bar in his cubicle. Before you shut it down, keep in mind that company morale has never been higher."

'Propping up the bar again tonight, Sybil?'

sports bar buffet : Hotdogs/pizza/Corn-on-the-Ty Cobb

'My wife was psychic and divorced me over an affair I hadn't had yet.'

Joe's Bar: Revenge is a dish best served with cold beer!

'If that's my wife, you're not in!...'

You give dives a bad name. Somebody has to!

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

"Mmm my, there is just something about a man in footie pajamas."

'I'm an economist, but I try not to take myself too seriously.'

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

"Your mom wants to buy you a drink."

'The usual, Mr, H'

"Twenty years ago when I started planning my retirement I had no idea how big my bar bill would be."