District Managers Gifts

'We can give you a view of the water, gentlemen, but I'm afraid we have nothing 'overlooking a middle manager.''

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'Hey Kiddo, I think we'll have to stop to change your nappy...'

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

'Sire, we fixed that problem in the sales department.'

City Finance Dept: My Way/The Highway

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

Fantasy Business Management

"My God! There goes middle management."

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

"I guessed my way to a perfect score on the GMAT, then I guessed my way through grad school and several middle management jobs...."

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

'My God! It's Hastings, Van Witten, Rosten and Traver, Inc!'

"Can't complain- it's against company policy."

'You understand, Yomp, it's not me speaking. It's the corporation!'

The Department of Lessons Learned...

'You are here.'

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

'Okay, people... The name of the game is Musical Cubicles! The winner gets to be the new district manager! Ready... set... GO!!'

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

"I now realize that my 'show no mercy' campaign for the corner office was a big mistake."

'This doesn't look good.'

'We do a little hiring and a little firing, and between you and me, I enjoy the firing more.'

Welcome to middle management. Here's your shield.

Middle Management

'Ooopsss! I did it again.'