Middle Manager Gifts

'Middle managers play tennis.'

"On the one hand, eliminating the middleman would result in lower costs, increased sales, and greater consumer satisfaction; on the other hand, we're the middleman."

Information in, delay, & never out.

'Please save any questions for later, when the grief counselor gets here.'

Management: The illusion of control. Middle Management: The illusion of Usefulness. Wage Earners: The Illusion of Being Appreciated.

Climbing to the top.

'The man who manages the man who manages the man who manages the man who manages the worker.'

Imagine how much work we could get done if we weren't always sitting around talking about how much work we could get done.

"It appears you're a bit overqualified to be exploited but somewhat underqualified to exploit others."

'For various reasons, Mr. Bigmeister likes to limit contact with his rank and file employees.'

Middle Management.

'Your backbone is deteriorated... how long have you been a middle manager?'

'Honey, are we interested in making a contribution to the society for the ethical treatment of middle managers?'

"Great idea Norman,remember when did I have it?"

'I was hoping we could cut out the middleman.'

The function of middle management.

"His executive functioning skills are low, but his middle-management functioning skills are quite promising."

"How we doing on those commandments?"

'This was caused by a power surge by one of our middle managers.'

Golden Parachutes for Middle Managers

Vegetate.

"He's worried that the changes might only affect 10% of the job, but it might be the 10% he knows something about!"

'The problem is that this problem management team has got more members than there are workers who can cause problems!'

"Top management told middle management to tell me to tell you to shape up."

Woman looking at notice on bulletin board: 'Middle Managers without Borders Support Group.'

'We really need to get on-message about out responsive reciprocal concepts, on-message.'

'I'd like to thank you for participating in our new 'colleague empowerment policy'.'

"I now realize that my 'show no mercy' campaign for the corner office was a big mistake."

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

'Well, you wanted a bigger job.'

'What people don't appreciate is that if you don't have middle managers to oversee forms like the 566/c4-566 then you wouldn't even know how many 566/c4-566 had been filled out.'

Department of Wastage - Formerly 'Middle Management'

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

'I'm cutting out a complete layer of management.'

"I did away with the suggestion box. I wasn't getting enough credit."