Managers Gifts

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

"Of course I've got good people skills what kind of stupid question is that?"

'I think we have a communication problem.' - 'You can say that again, I fired you two weeks ago.'

"Tom, mentoring is more than encouraging people to be just like you."

"Let's never forget that the public's desire for transparency has to be balanced by our need for concealment."

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

Boss: 'Change is good!' Employees: 'Who's getting fired?'

It's our latest caseload management system, we just keep on adding files until he falls over.

'That's it, in a nutshell.'

'I can't believe you'd accuse us of age discrimination. At your age, you ought to know better.'

"On the other hand, he never takes a sick day."

'When I said getting more sleep would help reduce stress I meant AT HOME!'

'I'm just concerned that if we embrace change this one time, change might get the wrong idea and mistake it for some kind of long-term commitment!'

'Your job description is fairly simple: Stay in your cubicle and try not to make things worse.'

'Why can't the rest of you be more like Stanton? He's full of new ideas.'

'Speaking for myself and every other right-thinking person...'

'Aye, laddie, we do have an employee incentive program!'

"Gentlemen: This is a follow-up on our recent Christmas card."

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

'I love men in uniformity.'

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

'Generally, cost-cutting is a good thing. Specifically, too much of a good thing.'

'Jack, can you prove that Harrison stabbed you in the back?'

'They appear to be adapting well in their new habitat.'

'All those who think change is good, say aye...'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

Sometimes Colin found it difficult to get back into the office routine.

"Any other skills?"

'I need Flag Day off.'

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

Looking for Leadership.

'Looking for a job with better conditions?'

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"