It Managers Gifts

"So with our new Service Level Agreements our help desk is offering a much faster surly and sarcastic response."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Where your mind & battle are los

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Businesswoman Empowerment

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"My email is down... talk to me."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."