Information Technology Manager Gifts

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

The Computer Bore

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'Here's MY information highway!'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Computer Science Class 10101010101.