Business Manager Gifts

Complaints and Gratitude.

"Hold everything! The P.R. department just sent over this chart."

'If we do applaud transparency, will anyone see it?'

"Well, then, it's unanimous."

The dream works when the team works!

"I've never understood—what is the difference between morals and ethics?"

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

'Apparently, wild hopes and dreams, re-enacted by Barbie and Ken, are no substitute for a solid business plan.'

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

"This month's business meeting is the same as last month's business meeting but with many more problems."

'Our standards are very high. We even have high double standards.'

17 Days Without a Reorganization

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

'Rather than Jones becoming a team player with you guys, I prefer that you become team players with Jones.'

Rabbit Meeting Shows Hopping Profits

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'Wow, that is a really big goal!'

'And now, Gentlemen, that we have our thinking caps on, let us continue.'

Sharks' Mission Statement

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

"I'm not coming home, Jennifer. I live here now."

"Hi, I'm Hugo -- I'll be your compliance officer."

"I've got your letter in front of me now."

Profits - "It's worse than you think it goes down to the third floor."

"It's a setback, but we'll bounce back."

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

'This year we're in really great shape. Nobody understands our financial statement!'

'In the future, Clayton, always make sure you have your decimal points correctly placed.'

A single man has the job title of CEO, Business Manager, HR, Undermanager, Head of Division, Personnel. . .

'There goes another one. Perhaps we should look into that employee satisfaction thing.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

"My leaving Wilkins & Jennings was perfectly amicable. They felt that I should be fired, and I agreed."

"And here's where Mr. Kimbel, the company accountant, went on his extended holiday to Brazil."